Wish I Said It - Sassy Parent

Children's Choice

2010-12-12T14:33:00.001+11:00

I am not a child (seriously no matter what my mother and ex-boyfriends may say), yet I was one once. Since some are too young to speak for themselves or to know any better, as I the creator of sassyparents I have decided to speak on behalf of those who cannot speak for themselves, yet.

Dear Mum and Dad, family, friends and carers

Remember that if you smoke a packet of cigarettes a day; you are wasting roughly $5,000 a year. You are killing yourself and if you are smoking around me; you are making me sick and could be killing me; if not from passive smoking effects; from the detrimental role modeling you display that may cause me to take up smoking in the future.

Choose the safest travel system for me to use when I am in your vehicle. Whether it be a capsule, booster seat or harness; ensure it is weight, height and appropriate, use it according to the manufacturers instructions. Don't let me sit in the front seat until I am big enough, I do not wish to die of suffocation or other injuries caused to me by an air bag.

When we are at the shops or the petrol station in the car, please value my safety over the minute or two it saves to get me out of the vehicle and take me with you. I wouldn't want to die of heat stroke, be kidnapped or car jacked... It happens and every time, the adults are surprised; that's stupid, don't be stupid, take me with you.

I love to look good and I like it when you buy me clothes. There are so many brands to choose from, so please base your decision on ethical branding instead of big name branding. I do not want to run around and get hot and sweaty in sports gear that was made by people suffering in sweat shops.

When I need a treat to eat or drink, consider where it comes from. I don't want to be chomping on chocolate that runs with the blood, sweet and tears of slave children who are not given the same privileges as me. I'd hate to think of them crying and dying when there are fairtrade options that you can choose to help them and please me.

I am not clean when you wash me with contaminated products, please choose earth friendly, natural and organic options when you wash my hair, body, teeth and environment. Just because your parents used some well known 'family brand' from the past, does not mean it should be in my future; we know better now.

You have your favourite hat, sunnies and sunscreen when you go out on a hot day, you also have a warm coat, beanie, scarf, glove and boots to wear on cold days... Guess what? I feel heat and cold just as much as you do and my skin is far more sensitive than yours; I need these things too.

I was born happy, I am unique and I deserve to be loved, nurtured and respected. Treat me as you would want to be treated yourself. Give me every opportunity to become the best person that I can be... Do this by being the best role model that you can for me and if you need to change to do this; then change, I am worth it.

With much love, your child, grandchild, great grandchild, sibling, cousin, niece/nephew, friend xox

This Christmas (and always) please think about the decisions you make, the actions you take; they don't just affect you, they affect the children around you and all children of the world. We adults are ultimately responsible for the care and safety of ALL children.

Sassy Parents Pages

2010-11-26T00:05:00.001+11:00

It is so fun having your own site, I don't know why I took so long to create Sassy Parents! A complete and utter self indulgence on my part for sure, however I hope that each post finds at least one reader that finds a home for it in their heart. I am loving the pages feature and have created a list of topics that are important to me. I try to keep the list in check, however the pages keep growing each week. Here are some of the titles that you can select from across the top menu bar or at the bottom of the left menu bar.

Parenting Globally was a new one that I added on a whim today and I sincerely hope that it grows to be the largest directory of child advocates, sponsorship, charities, causes, groups, communities, site listing, forums etc on the internet. If everyone who reads this is kind enough to suggest one organisation or person of interest to them, it will be a great help. As adults we are responsible for the welfare and protection of ALL children in the world, so lets start creating the world we want to live in.

Cheers, SassyLu

Sassy Parents Thank You

2010-11-25T12:09:00.001+11:00

Thanks to the wonderful people who have participated in the site by assisting me with Sassy Parents Parenting Online and giving me permission to post their work and images. Inês from Empowering Girls, Tim Bete author of Cap'n Billy "The Butcher" MacDougall's Guide to Pirate Parenting and Angie Parker from My Parentbook were all most accommodating and I love their work. There are so many interesting sites out there, I can't wait to add more and I look forward to 'meeting' their creators, so far; so fun!

Approaching people to get permission to post for them and ensuring they are happy with the review is very important to me as I am not a big fan of mass media's method of one person writing a review and everyone else buying rights to it. I hope to be able to keep the majority of my articles about other sites original and personal, with the exception of the odd random one that I throw in for general interest. Swing by Sassy Parents and check out the sites reviewed so far and feel free to make a suggestion. There's a link to the free download of the Guide to Pirate Parenting too, well worth clicking through to.

The biggest thank you goes out to everyone who has joined the site and those who have participated by leaving comments. Even some of the spam is amusing, though I try to get rid of most of it; especially ones that go through to 'naughty' sites. For those that join, there will be different levels or membership available if you are interested in contributing content and hopefully I can round up a few rewards in the future.

Cheers - SassyLu

Register or Log In we love to read your comments, your feedback is important to us.

Girls Inc. of OC

2010-11-20T19:00:00.000+11:00

It's Mine Minti

2010-11-17T13:26:00.000+11:00

Since I am no longer a member of that site, I have requested removal of my advice posts, (about 30 or so from memory, here is an example) and photographs. After sending a request to Minti via their ‘contact us’ page a week ago, I have still had no response. (Not surprising, as I was advised by other former members that they had suffered the same fate).

They still have the articles posted by ‘anonymous author’ which is misleading in itself, as I am not remotely anonymous and those are my original advice posts. They have removed the photographs from the posts as you can see on this article I wrote about honesty and integrity; perhaps they should have read it when they were making those changes.

Luisa Foliaki

November 8 at 8:36pm 08/11/2010

Open Letter To Minti

Now that I am no longer a member of your site, I am no longer bound by your terms of service.

“BY USING THE SERVICES, YOU AGREE TO EACH OF THE TERMS SET FORTH BELOW. IF YOU DO NOT AGREE WITH ANY TERM OR CONDITION SET FORTH BELOW, YOU ARE NOT AUTHORIZED TO USE THE SERVICES FOR ANY PURPOSE.”

Please treat this email as a formal request for my photographs and advice article posts to be removed from your site. If you have any difficulty working out which ones belong to me, I will be happy to assist you.

Regards Luisa Foliaki

http://sassyparents.com/

Good manners would dictate that it was reasonable to reply by now. Good business practice would dictate that it would have been prudent to respond sooner. Good ethics would dictate that there would be no issue removing work written by other people when they request it. I used to have respect for the concept of this site, however that fresh minti taste has gone stale.

WTF Amazon?!

2010-11-11T12:30:00.002+11:00

Allowing The Pedophile’s Guide to Love And Pleasure e-book to be listed on your kindle site… I hope Amazon get their heads out of their arses and flush this filth down the toilet. I know I won’t be listing, buying or offering any affiliate links up to you until then and I am sure there are many like-minded web users who feel the same. This is not the first e-book that reeks of pedophilia that has caused such an uproar and they still have another listed.

As for defending it? A big fat cyber-slap to whatever stupid sense you have that makes you think that this is ok on any level in any civilised and enlightened society. Sassy Parents would like to award you with a cucumber dipped in hot chilli sauce and you can shove it right up your Amazon! I’m sure you’ll appreciate my comments since you claim to love freedom of speech so much that you feel it is appropriate to continue with this listing.

For any readers who are not familiar with WTF, it literally means WHAT THE F*CK! Phillip R Greaves, whatever your intentions, you encourage pedophilia, for that you get an epic FAIL. You could download the e-version of the SP Epic Fail Trophy, unfortunately I will have to list it on a more savoury site; so in the meantime, you can e-imagine it.

Salute To Entrepreneur Parents

2010-10-21T00:09:00.001+11:00

Online networking has brought many people together and I hope to do the same with Sassy Parents. Social networking is fun and it creates great opportunities for online networking and business opportunities, whether it be a cottage sized home based industry or affiliate marketing.

Some bright, vibrant, Mother's I have met online on parenting sites are now creating some great products, many are readily available to be seen on facebook. Another friend of mine who is the best UncleDaddy in the world and his business partner are releasing an exciting product in a few hours.

The products range from children's clothing, jewelery and cakes to affiliate marketing opportunities. The thing that all of these people have in common is that their products are created by them and they predominantly market them online to a growing network of consumers.

I will be writing a detailed article about each of these clever, enterprising and entrepreneurial people and their excellent products over the next week or two on the Sassy Parents website. Here is a sneak peak at some of the people who will be featuring:

Made For Myah - Naomi Butterfield; The most beautiful handmade pretty princess fairy skirts and accessories ever.

Sweet As Icing - Teshia Wilkinson; Delicious, delightfully decorated home made cakes and desserts for any occasion.

Eye Create Designs - Julie Dee; Wickedly wild, original, handmade accessories created from new and vintage materials.

Daisy Lou Designs - Lyn Hurring; Illustration, art and general creativeness, these little beauties will curl your lips for sure.

Guru Siphon Formula - Eddy Croft & Josh Denning; Teaching you how to make money online, (I've had coaching from these guys, it works)!

All of these entrepreneurs have different products, they are all original and they are all trustworthy caring parents and carers. I hope this will encourage more people to think about how they can use the power of the internet to market their own products, or market other people's products and create an income and lifestyle that makes them truly happy.

I have never liked that whole nine to five jive and I am always looking for alternatives and seeking to support people who do the same online, it is perfect for me, since I choose to be a work from anywhere parent. Check these products and people out, they are all inspiring and if you know of someone else who you think should be featured, write to me at luisa@bizsassy.com.

See and download the full gallery on posterous

Sassy Parents - Welcome

2010-08-31T14:27:00.004+10:00

Wish I Said It has now evolved into the Sassy Parents Blog to support the Sassy Parents website in a less formal and more relaxed manner. Feel free to leave a comment about everything and anything parenting, family related. This blog has been created to carry quirky thoughts and observations that pass through this sassy parent’s head on a daily basis.

Sassy Parents are responsible role models who believe that positive, practical, parenting practices create confident capable children.
Sassy Parents believe in global guardians parenting; are aware advocates; ethical earthling; fairtrade families and caring consumers.
Sassy Parents don’t think ‘wish I said it’ they are proud to say what they really think and are accountable for their actions and aim for happiness.
Sassy Parents website has been created for fun loving parents, guardians, family, carers and friends who love free speech and are Sensible, Accountable, Smart & Spirited, like You.

Please complete our Sassy Parents Survey where you are invited to share your parenting opinions and ideas that will help to create this site content.

Best wishes

Pregnancy - Cold And Flu Prevention

2010-08-15T19:31:00.001+10:00

A lower than normal immune system is one of the many negative side-effects of pregnancy that women deal with. Never take any medication without seeking professional medical advice; even cough lozenges and other over the counter medicines can be dangerous to your unborn child. There are some natural remedies and health supplements that you can take to help relieve cold and flu symptoms; once again, seek the appropriate qualified advice before taking any of these.

I have listed some basic, common sense tips that I adhere to in an effort to avoid picking up general colds and flu viruses, as well as other potential infections. These are also beneficial to the public in general, however it is even more important to be diligent with your health and hygiene when you are pregnant; prevention is better than worrying about a cure.

(1.) Wash your hands regularly, especially after using the toilet, touching animals and prior to handling or eating food. Ensure that you wash your hands thoroughly using soap or antibacterial wash and that they are completely dry as well. If using a public toilet, try to use handy wipes/towels if possible; use them to turn the taps on and off and open the doors too; just in case other people haven’t been quite so diligent. If you are walking upstairs or using an escalator, try not to run your hands along the banister/rails, just think about how many people do that each day.

(2.) Make it a habit not to touch your eyes, nose or mouth unless you have just cleaned your hands. These areas are the main entry points for germs and viruses. Think about the amount of hands you shake when you meet people, or how many people used the same public transport and touched the same things as you each day. Hand to hand contact as well as shared resources and spaces can lead to infections. I have to admit, as a woman, it is easy to avoid the handshake as many of our male counterparts don’t expect it… This used to annoy me in the workplace; now I am glad!

(3.) Drink fresh clean water all the time! Now is the time to get yourself a groovy sports water bottle, keep it full and take it everywhere you go and sip it regularly. Water flushes waste products from your cells, it aids in healthy liver and kidney function for mother and baby. Water can also as help to prevent urinary tract infections. Keeping well hydrated will also help to prevent headaches and fatigue; try drinking water at ambient temperature too, often it is easier to swallow than icy cold water. When I am fed up with water and feeling bloated, yet still thirsty; I eat juicy fruits like grapefruit, oranges and mandarins instead; these are also a great natural source of vitamin C and great for combating cold and flu germs.

(4.) Ensure that you get enough rest to allow your body to rejuvenate and recover from the hard work of creating another life; this will also help boost your immune system. Accept that you may not have the same amount of energy as before and either have earlier nights or an extra nap in during the day if you can. Try not to exercise, eat or drink too late in the evening and relax by reading instead of watching TV or using your computer. A good nights sleep will assist your immune system, reduce stress, energise you and help with tissue regeneration…’Beauty sleep’ yet another cliché that is well worth remembering.

(5.) Eat a variety of healthy fresh fruits and vegetables every day and try to maintain a well balanced diet. Be careful what you eat to avoid listeria and be mindful of how you store and prepare your food; even if you are suffering from morning sickness 24/7. You may not be able to hold down a lot of food and experiencing cravings for food that isn’t particularly nutritious; make what you eat count! That little life within you will take an extra helping of nutrition whenever it can; make sure that you are as healthy as you can be too… That old cliché; ‘you are what you eat’ is ever so true and never more vital to remember than now!

(6.) Exercise in moderation… There are many articles and books that give you advice about safe exercise in pregnancy, however the best person to consult is your health professional or Doctor to find out what is safe and appropriate for you. Light to moderate exercise is great for your improving your metabolism, helps to tone your muscles, increases your flexibility and mobility as well as boosting your immune system. It is also a great way to feel good about your body, confident and a great opportunity to socialise and meet new people. Whether you join a gym, go for a swim a walk in the crisp fresh air or participate in a light sport, exercise can improve your mood and produce an over all feeling of well being.

(7.) Avoid places were there are large crowd gatherings, or a lot of young children, (like daycare or school, my Doctor advised me to stay away as much as possible). If you are in the Southern Hemisphere, you will be well aware of the many flu viruses that have been circulating this winter. People have been advised to stay away from work if they are ill and not to attend gatherings where there are large crowds… You can’t trust everyone to do this; so if in doubt, stay at home yourself. If you are in a shared work space, take your own antibacterial wipes and clean your keyboard, telephone, desk and any other commonly used resources before you start your day.

I hope you manage to stay healthy, however if you do pick up some unwanted germs, these tips will help you to recover; whether you are pregnant or not. Remember if symptoms persist, seek medical advice and insist on the best care for yourself and your baby. For further tips to help you have a happy, healthy pregnancy, see Fit And Healthy Pregnancy.com

Baby - Safety; Newborn Common Sense

2010-07-29T10:22:00.010+10:00

Lola Rose - Newborn

We have babies and we love them, so why do parents make careless mistakes that result in injury and death? If you are a parent of a baby or know parent's of a baby please use your common sense to avoid unnecessary risk to innocent babies, toddlers and children. Keep babies safe and alive; follow the rule of 5:

1). If your baby is not in a cot/bassinette, other safe sleeping area or within your reach; leave him/her on the floor. Your baby is not safe lying on your bed, the couch or some chair, no matter what age it is. The only way to ensure your baby can't fall to the floor is for you to place him or her there gently. Newborns can wriggle their way to a boob, so the time to be diligent starts from birth.

2). Do not leave your baby unsupervised in a car at any time. This will ensure that your baby isn't the victim of death by heat exhaustion, kidnapped by a passerby, or stolen by accident in a car jacking. Also regarding cars, use a properly fitted age and weight appropriate baby restraint at all times and more importantly use them according to the instructions provided. Report anyone who endangers the lives or babies and children in cars; it is your duty as caring adult to protect all children.

3). Step up and be responsible for your baby from the moment it is born. Teach your baby to self settle; note that you weren't hugging them until they fell asleep in the womb, or feeding them until they fell asleep. The gift of independence that you give your baby and the freedom you have to rest and be a better parent is worth the effort. Be accountable for your baby's behaviour, if you can't take charge of a small bundle that can't walk or speak, think of the issues you will have later.

4). Baby strollers, prams and push chairs all have wheels, these are built to roll; if you have a hand strap use it. They all have brakes as well, so ensure you put that brake on every time you stop or plan to let go of your chosen travel system. Do not blame the manufacturer or style of stroller if it rolls away; there is only one person who is in charge of your chosen form of perambulation; you, so get it right. Other people have made tragic mistakes, learn from these poor people and ensure that these types of accidents stop occurring.

5). Never ever leave your baby or toddler unattended near any body of water. Baths, pools, sinks, basins, buckets, dams, ponds, beaches, rivers, you name it, if there is water in it, you must have your child in sight. There are no second chances, drowning is permanent, get it right first time every time. Be aware of your surroundings when you go somewhere new and never ever leave babies in the bath. Unsupervised children drown and it happens fast; let's eradicate drownings, they are avoidable and so very, very sad.

These are 5 simple things that can make a difference; take them seriously and accept a cyber high 5. Ignore them and you really deserve the prize of a 5 knuckle sandwich. If common sense really were common; then these 5 things would be uncommon issues... Unfortunately that is not the case; we need to remember that it is the children who are the true victims when adults make 'mistakes.' Click here for more Baby Safety Tips.

© 2010 Luisa Foliaki – Proud Mumma of MicroMe & MissyMe

Further reading on this topic:

Why Do We Allow Innocent Children To Drown - llmunchkin

The Concept Of Supervision - Josierm

Kids Child Restraint Conundrums - llmunchkin

When Babies Hit Their Heads - Mindy Hudon, M.S., CCC-SLP

Baby - Never Say 'Never'

2010-07-08T18:49:00.008+10:00

In my life BM, (Before Munchkins); there were always things I was sure I would NEVER do. A decade ago when my beautiful housemate and I posed for this post match picture I was so self-centred. All I could think of was how cool it was going to be getting to the bar to celebrate my player of the match status and a big night out. Life was friends, footy, fun; a revolving door of rugby, rugby housemates, rugby friends, rugby training, rugby playing and going out all mixed into one. We had friends that had children, yet I NEVER considered having any myself. I thought that if I did, I would NEVER let them pee in public, nor would I be providing a public boobfest by breast feeding.

Saturday week ago I was standing on the side of the rugby field with MissyMe latched on drinking boob juice while I chatted to old friends. MicroMe started bouncing around saying "I need to wee right now!" After waiting for me to finish playing MissyMe made it clear that she was in no mood to compromise her position. As I directed MicroMe to run behind a nearby tree and do his thing, I suddenly remembered that this was two somethings I said I would NEVER do all rolled into one... I stood in the afternoon sun smiling to myself and thought of a decade ago and realised that I am so much cooler now.

OK, so it is true, my friends and I did have matching pyjamas and we were known to wander around the Northern Districts and North Shore on a Sunday morning, sporting hangovers looking for something yummy for breakfast. It was just a thing that started when we used to have sleep overs, borrowed clothes and pyjamas were all part of it. That was back in the days when rugby ruled, touch or austag were an added extra and I think I was even sneaking out of rugby training at Eastwood early to play night comp netball at West Pymble. I just couldn't give up that cute little skirt and submit completely to wearing baggy striped jumpers and ill-fitting shorts for sports.

One thing I knew for sure was that I would NEVER participate in any form of martial arts, mainly because I did not want to wear those white unisex pyjamas that did nothing to define ones figure. Oh yes, BM (Before Munchkins) logic at it's very best, (or worst). I thought that boxing was for neanderthals and that martial arts were for people who couldn't box. A couple of weeks ago as I pulled on Emma's grappling pants in lieu of my missing gi and ran on to the mat while the lovely Alicia looked after MissyMe, I laughed at the irony. Yet again I was immersed in something I said I would NEVER do and it felt natural and normal. I can't imagine life without muay thai, karate, grappling, brazilian jujitsu and all the wonderful people I have met doing it at Pollets Mixed Martial Arts and Blue Mountains Martial Arts Centre.

I NEVER expected to be training for Muay Thai while my baby slept in a fight cage all wrapped up in a flower petal blankie with her big brother running around yahooing like crazy as he jumped on all the training dummies. I certainly didn't expect that doing all these things that I said I would NEVER do would bring me such joy and that I would be able to do them with my pre-schooler and baby in tow. As soon as I put it out there, it all began to fall into place... Friends offering me their gear to use, people stepping in to look after MissyMe while I train, play and climb, how could I say no? MicroMe has suddenly matured enough to either join me in my endeavours to have fun and get fit again, or to stand by and support me, (very vocally I might add). The wonderful comments he makes after rugby, like, "why did you drop the ball Mummy?" are redeemed when he stands ringside yelling, "go Mummy go, look at you, I love you..."

Never say 'never' (as MaxiMe has told me over and over for years), if I had never had these munchkins, never taken the opportunity to do new things with the munchkins, I would never be this happy. Life doesn't end when you become a parent; it merely presents different opportunities.

© 2010 Luisa Foliaki – Proud Mumma of MicroMe & MissyMe

People that inspired me and this article:

The Fab Five (Bronia, Cass, Irem and Kat), the most fun girls ever.

Rugby friends and coaches from Eastwood, Waverly, Sydney Uni and Warringah.

The great people from Pollets Martial Arts Centre and Blue Mountains Martial Arts Centre.

MaxiMe: Stephen Gore, the father of my beautiful children; who gets angry when I say NEVER.

Eddy Croft - MaxiMe's friend whose online efforts inadvertently inspired me to write this article to make a Squidoo lens.

Baby - I'm Fat; I Ain't Down With That

2010-07-08T09:31:00.001+10:00

Photograph Courtesy of Jana Hummelshoj

Check Out The Fat Chick; Oh Heck It’s Me

Many women struggle with their excess weight after having a baby. Some people believe that if it took nine months to put on weight, it should take the same amount of time to lose it. However, long after that, many people are still unhappy with their size and shape. I have never had a perfect figure, however I was happy with my weight before my first pregnancy. Right now I have a five month old baby girl and I am still lugging around an extra 10kg that I have no use for. Four years ago I had a baby boy; I suffered this indignity for a good year longer before doing anything about it. I said I didn’t want to go out and have fun, or exercise to lose weight because I didn’t like the way I looked... Yes, I know, how silly is that?

I Can’t Excercise; I'm Way Too Fat

What went wrong after my first pregnancy? I can’t speak for anyone else, yet I now realise that for me it was a safety net. If I wasn’t successful at anything I tried to do; I could blame it on being overweight. If someone didn’t like me, I could blame it on their dislike of people who didn’t look perfect. If I wasn’t good enough at sports, I could blame it on the extra kilos and pain from pregnancy and birth... It was an excuse for everything that I might fail at; including my relationship with my baby’s father. For if I was looking fit and as healthy and pretty as I could be, yet he rejected me in any way, then that would mean that it was my personality and attitude that were at fault. In effect it would mean facing up to the fact that I was accountable for 50% of the symptoms in all my relationships and experiences. Worse still, I was 100% responsible for any ill conceived comments and actions that I made that were having a detrimental effect on them. When I finally began to understand that and be happy with my image and weight; I fell pregnant again.

I Am Fat Again; I Can Excercise

What is different after this pregnancy? Not much; same Dad, similar post-pregnancy pain issues and similar weight gain. However this time I was determined to enjoy having a beautiful little baby and I couldn’t get out enough to show her off. I also have a very fit, energetic 4 year old boy to keep up with at the same time. I carried Lola Rose for a 7km bush walk at Kanangra Walls when she was 6 weeks old, (even though I could barely walk for days afterwards), my son walked the whole way and carried his own back pack too. This time I actively sought assistance with my pain so that I could be seriously active sooner, rather than later. Luckily for me, my beautiful friend Sempai Angel kept saying, “you need to come and exercise to lose the weight.” Sensei Danny at the dojo we attend encouraged me to attend a Muay Thai Seminar and I haven’t looked back. The next weekend I was back on the rugby field and we went indoor climbing the next day. I couldn’t care less what I look like, I want to have fun and for me, being active is fun. My son is my biggest supporter, everyone we associate with is extremely encouraging and many people help me with my baby so that I can train.

I'm A Bit Plump; I Should Be Unhappy

Not true at all! For me, a healthy active lifestyle is an imperative part of being happy; luckily for my body type, excercise tends to mean that I become more asthetically pleasing as well; which is fairly logical. That isn’t what this article is about though; what is most important is that you are as healthy and fit as you can be, so that you can enjoy your life and enjoy playing with your children. We weren’t all born with the potential to have stick thin models bodies, however we were all born with the potential to be confident, happy people. Tall, short, fat, thin, young, old; stop making silly excuses, be honest with yourself; decide what will make you a happy person; if it is weight loss, get on with it. If not; love yourself the way you are and get on with enjoying life by focusing on things that are more important to you and your family's well being. It isn't just how you look that defines you; I have found that if I feel good about myself and I am honestly happy within my skin, I shine and that light attracts exciting events and great people into my life.

How can you see if this is true for you? Make the choice; only you are accountable for the decisions you make, the actions you take and the things you manifest into your life.

Whilst I have come to this conclusion based on my own life experiences, many influences have slowly, (painfully slowly unfortunately), have started to gel to a truth that is improving my outlook on life and even importantly, my children's future. I admire these authors and perhaps they can convey a truth along the same lines that sits well with you if you read one of these books.

Further reading, (by far better authors) that influenced me:

The Four Agreements - Don Miguel Ruiz

The Mastery Of Love - Don Miguel Ruiz

The Luck Factor - Dr. Richard Wiseman

People that influenced me by attending sessions:

Rose Bendell

MaxiMe: Stephen Gore, the father of my beautiful children; we don't always see eye to eye, however we are very often right about and learn from; each other - thank you.

I have also been very lucky to have worked with, played sports with and been associated with many bright, talented, wonderful people; too many to mention, (though if you read The Luck Factor, maybe it was by my own design). The thing that I admired most about them is that they seem to fit well within their own skin and be happy to be who they are, despite any trials and tribulations they have suffered.

Kids - Child Restraint Conundrums

2010-05-25T09:37:00.000+10:00

Intrigued by this post on Minti's Q&A, I did a little further research online. It would seem that it has been recognised by child experts and governments that larger booster seats are needed for above average height and weight children for a few years now.

The well documented incidence of obese children is also cause for concern and as you can see by these articles, while the issue is not new; there is little evidence to show change in the industry to date.

Australian Children Too Fat For Booster Seats - Courier Mail, March 15 2008 (Australia)

Kids Getting Too Fat To Fit In Car Seats - Sunday Star - Times, Wellington, April 9 2006 (New Zealand)

American Children Getting Too Fat For Car Safety Seats - Medical News Today, April 3 2006 (USA)

How many parents are affected by this dilemna? Why didn't the Australian Government forsee the error that would occur and address it prior to changing the laws? The least they could do is provide clear additional rules and guidelines for parents of children who do not fit safe booster seats.

I certainly hope they plan to be accountable and put some pressure on manufacturers to come up with higher weight rated booster seats and parents of obese children to get them down to healthy weights.

However that would still leave parents with perfectly healthy children who are above average height and weight confused and worried about what is best for their children. The seats are meant to be used by children up to the age of 7yrs old, the age weight percentile for boys in this age group is 18 - 32kg with an average of around 23kg, so they were always going to fall short.

©Luisa Foliaki – Proud Mumma of MicroMe & MissyMe

Links to further reading on this topic:

Family Car Reviews And Advice - Child Restraints Australia

NZ Child Restraints (Booster Seat For Up To 36kg Coming)

Child Restraint Laws USA - By State

Think Road Safety - Children: Child Seat Laws (UK)

Mumma - Bad Badder Better

2010-05-23T22:23:00.000+10:00

Something I have noticed since I started Kindergarten, (in NZ, Kindergarten children are between the ages of 3 - 5 attend, though some are now open to 2 year olds), the badder you are the better, because the more you will get away with it. For example, the kids who were always disobedient received very little punishment, yet if you were out of line now and then; they came down on you like a ton of bricks.

I noticed the same anomaly at primary school and when I was 10, my teacher had us put together a code of conduct for the class. We all had to contribute to it, approve it, then sign it if we chose to commit to it. We put together a really well thought out document and we all agreed on it; then the teacher in question made changes to it. As a result, I no longer agreed to it and refused to sign it.

The teacher in question held me back after class, (a form of discipline I find inappropriate) and attempted to bully me into signing, but I was adamant; eventually she gave in and let me go home. Her later efforts, (which involved trying to ridicule me in front of the class), remained to be unsuccessful. I was an average sort of kid however I do feel that she never forgave me. I distinctly recall her pulling me aside and telling me that just because I was prettier and smarter than many of my classmates, I didn't deserve to be and I wasn't going to have it so easy in her class.

That wreckless statement from a woman who knew no better than to harass a 10 year old child because of her own short comings, stuck with me for decades. It cemented a belief inside of me that I shouldn't try too hard or be better than others, I should feel sorry for them instead of improving myself or standing out. I have never done anything to the best of my ability since then, as it seemed to me to be showing off too much. It was quite preposterous when my first sport was athletics and at 6 years old, I was club champion and had set club records for my age group in sprints, shotput and long jump.

I did well enough to be above average at everything I did, I was competitive by nature, however something always stopped me from giving 100% and truly enjoying my successes. There were a couple of occasions that I nearly overcame this obstacle on my own, however I was always aware of people who claimed to be less fortunate, as everyone felt sorry for them and made excuses for them. If you were too good at things, people got jealous and suspicious of you and invented reasons to cut you down to size, in real life and online.

Well thanks once again to help from Rose, I realised what was holding me back and I'm over being mediocre! This short woman is going to become a 'tall poppy' and shine. To any haters; you are going to need an industrial sized chain saw to bring me down! I am a healthy, strong, talented, athletic, intelligent woman and my children are even stronger and smarter... I'm sick of being made to feel guilty about it or that I am any less than someone else because I don't wear my problems like a badge pinned to my chest. My children will learn to be resilient and proud; nobody will be able to mess with their heads like this, I won't allow it. MicroMe and MissyMe won't just shine; they'll be dazzling!

©Luisa Foliaki – Proud Mumma of MicroMe & MissyMe

Mumma - Watch Your Babies Online

2010-05-20T12:24:00.001+10:00

Kids online are getting younger...

I noticed that mango-mummy has been blogging about a friend of hers that has been causing concern on Facebook. Whilst nothing beats parental supervision, this isn't always practical or possible, (besides, we also need to educate and trust kids, for along term solution, not wrap them in cotton wool). Maybe we should all take it upon ourselves to check our younger friends, our daughters, neices and friend's daughters pages and ensure that their privacy settings are on PRIVATE.

Plus give them a little reminder about the dangers of talking to strangers, be it online or elsewhere, ESPECIALLY when someone asks you to keep a secret. Here are some links that may come in handy when convincing tweens and teens, plus a post that I put in Email Savvy a while back. (Often daughter's won't listen to their Mum's, so help your friend's out by talking to their kids if you see them online, don't come on too heavy handed or they may delete you and you won't know what they're up to).

Teen's Murder Sparks Facebook Privacy Plea

Facebook Security Measures Criticised After Ashleigh Hall Murder

Husband Murdered Wife Before Killing Himself After She Confessed On Facebook She Was Leaving Him

We also need to be watching the activities of all the young men in our lives as well, for they are often less careful than young women, because they are used to feeling safe and being the 'stronger sex'. This gives them a false sense of security, there is nothing stopping a dangerous deviant from posing as a 'hot chick' or a 'hot guy' if they prefer and setting up a meet or finding out enough private information from a young male and causing him harm.

Of course Facebook isn't the only online social media that teens and other unsuspecting innocents put themselves at risk on. All social media groups are prone to predators, Facebook has just been in focus a lot lately. The same cautionary use applies to Bebo, MySpace, MSN Chat, Skype, Yahoo Messenger and any other social online site; including Minti and other parenting forums; they are all fair game.

Many social networking sites have a minimum age of 13 years old, however some kids lie about their age to join these sites. It is up to the rest of us as responsible adults to keep a close eye on them all and offer guidance to keep them safe. There is so much access that you can't supervise, (friend's homes, libraries, school, internet cafés etc), that it would be dangerous to presume you can stop your kids from being online.

Mumma - And Proud Of It

2010-05-07T17:56:00.000+10:00

I am the first to say that being a parent never entered my mind, except in a conversation once when MaxiMe said he couldn't see anything long term with me and one of the reasons he stated was that I wasn't interested in children. I thought about it for a few minutes and took a good long look at him, "yes, well if it was with you, I think I'd change my mind..." I put it out there and somewhere someone in the Universe heard it; I was blind sided and dragged into motherhood at the end of a less then enjoyable pregnancy, 'kicking and screaming' with the birth of my beloved MicroMe, (Jaydee); safe keeper of my heart.

All the love in the world for MicroMe couldn't make me enjoy being a mother; I resented this intrusion in my time and life vehemently. I threw myself into it though, determined to be the best Mumma I could be; all the while avoiding the mirror because I didn't want to see that frumpy new model of me that had replaced the fitter faster version.

Three years later we were having a similar conversation; except this way it was around the other way... I wasn't feeling remotely happy about MaxiMe's lack of commitment, so I said, "if you aren't willing to commit to me, I may have to seek a life partner elsewhere, I'd really like a daughter and Jaydee needs a sister...." My biological clock wasn't ticking any longer, the alarm bells were set to go off! Anyway, it was a throw away line at the end of a heated discussion; I should have known better.

This time was another surprise, this time I embraced it more readily, even though it looked like I was 'doomed to be a single Mum'. MicroMe was the only one in our family unit who was openly happy. Enthusiasm is infectious, so even though the pregnancy and situation were not perfect; MaxiMe and I managed to enjoy this birth a lot more. All three of us are now extremely enamoured with our little MissyMe (Lola Rose); my sweet little soul .

Late last year I was advised to try a visit to a qualified practioner of Kinesiology; the person who recommended her said, "I can't really explain what it is all about, just go and see if she can help you..." I love anything new, so I went, though at first I wasn't sure about the methods, I enjoyed the attention and care from this lovely, empathetic, caring person.

I am not sure how and sometimes I am skeptical myself, however Rose, (no coincidence that Lola is Lola Rose), managed to change my perspective, which is what I needed. Now I'm a proud Mumma, my heart is fit to burst with the pure joy that I get from waking up in the morning to give MissyMe and MicroMe a hug and kiss. I feel this bliss most accutely when they are asleep on top of me with MaxiMe sleeping soundly on the other 2/3 of the bed, unaware that we have been invaded by our miniature selves.

Nothing has changed; my life is almost the same as it was this time last year, yet for me, everything feels fresh and exciting again. The reason I am feeling so blessed and blissful is that I have finally realised the privilege that has been bestowed upon ME. I am the proud Mumma of MicroME and MissyME; I am the luckiest mother in the world! I will ensure that I embrace the future and do all I can to earn their respect so that they can be proud of ME!

While Natural Therapies may not be 'the thing' for everyone, I believe in seeking to improve myself, my life and that of my children in any way that works; this worked for us. I no longer feel ashamed to admit that my children are exceptionally well co-ordinated, healthy, strong, bright little beings and I think that my genes along with MaxiMe's and our parenting style has a lot to do with it.

Baby - Dummies Are For Dummies

2010-05-03T14:15:00.002+10:00

Dummies, pacifiers, soothers, whatever you want to call them; I don’t like them for my babies and I don’t use them when I look after anyone else’s babies. I made my decision when I was first pregnant in 2005. My choice not to use them was based on personal opinion and common sense; nothing I have heard or read since then has changed my mind.

My belief is that when babies are unsettled or crying they are communicating a need that isn’t being met, I like to diagnose and treat the cause.

I was concerned about the safety aspects of using a dummy, especially if a crawling baby or toddler were to fall on their face while using one.

They could easily be unhygienic as they get dropped a lot and I didn’t like the idea of having to sterilise them all the time for the baby or worry if they get lost.

It occurred to me that it could be difficult for a baby to learn to speak if they were getting around with one of these in their mouths for much of the day; it was a risk I wasn’t willing to take.

Excess dribbling and ear and throat infections seemed to me to be more likely if a baby was sucking on a dummy, especially when distressed, (which seems to be when they are used most).

Time and money; I envisioned a lot of frustrating times looking for dummies, plus it was an added expense. Although dummies don’t cost a lot, I can think of better uses for my finances.

I didn’t want my baby to become reliant upon a dummy to be pacified or soothed; I had also read multiple posts online about problems ridding babies, toddlers and even children of dummies.

Babies, toddlers and children are beautiful, so why hide part of that beauty behind an ugly big round piece of plastic or silicon?

The word dummy is implies that one can’t talk, or is a test version of something, or someone who is less intelligent. As for pacifier or soother; well isn’t that the role of a parent or carer?

I’ve read a lot of posts on the internet about why dummies are great, however, there are even more articles about how to get rid of them. I encourage new parents to persevere without them unless you receive professional advice to the contrary, as you will save yourself a lot of hassles in the long term.

If you choose to use dummies, research possible health issues, speech development delays, dangers and safety standards before purchasing any brand. Speak to parents who have used them and learn about the pros and cons from their experience. There are those who believe that they help prevent SIDS, however to date, SIDS and Kids does not make recommendations for dummy use.

Links to further reading on this topic:

About.com - Before You Buy A Baby Pacifier

Better Health Channel - Toddlers And Dummies

Raising Children Network - Dummies Pros And Cons

Baby Center - Cot Death - What's The Advice On Using A Dummy?

Baby - The Great Cover Up

2010-05-02T20:06:00.000+10:00

I’ll admit it; I’m a really proud parent and I love showing off my baby whenever I get the opportunity. On the day MicroMe was born, I was meant to go to a barbeque to catch up with old friends. Later that day everyone came to see him, we had 21 visitors to welcome him into the world.

He attended his first children’s birthday party when he was 13 days old. It was held in a park and nearly every adult there had cuddles with him before he was whisked away for his first photo shoot with us.

When MissyMe was born, I left the hospital when she was 36 hours old and I was encouraging visitors to come over immediately. She was mistaken for a doll the first couple of times we had her at the supermarket as she was so tiny and small, (yes, someone actually thought MaxiMe, a 6’ 4” grown man was carrying a doll?!)

Although we live in a warm country with plenty of sunlight hours, I prefer to use the hood on her capsule, a sunhat and sunscreen to protect my children from the sun when I take them out for a stroll. I want people to see them as I enjoy the impromptu chats and comments, that being with a baby invite. It is social for me and I truly love sharing the joy and warmth that admiring a baby brings.

I also love talking to my baby and pointing out interesting things, so that my baby gets to enjoy all the sights, sounds and smells where ever we may be. Going out is an occasion, it should be a fun, exciting learning experience every time. When MissyMe was 6 weeks old, we took her and MicroMe to Kanangra Walls and Kalang Falls, the following week we took them both to Jenolan Caves. She is also a regular at the local rivers, parks, bmx track & swimming pool while watching MicroMe do his thing; she meets many people and we both make new friends.

It is even more fun to share the world with my baby in her carrier and I did the same with her brother. They are close to you and easy to talk to, plus it’s ideal for pointng out objects and naming them, as well as sneaking a drink on the run. I often get people approaching me to ask about the baby or the carrier and whether I would recommend it, it is a great way to meet new people in town and out in the bush.

So even though it seems to be the current ‘in thing’ to have a cover over your baby to protect it all the time; why not share your pride and joy with the rest of the world and let your baby get some fresh air? I am sure that it has contributed to my son and daughter’s outgoing, confident personalities and I have met many lovely people of all ages and social back grounds by showing my babies off and showing them the world they live in.

Baby - Put A Lid On It

2010-05-02T14:50:00.000+10:00

Too often I see parents rugged up on cold days wearing scarves, hats and boots; yet their baby’s heads are uncovered and their little toes are bare! At the sunny end of the spectrum are the uncovered bundles of joy, whose parents wear sunglasses and a hat to protect themselves.

I'd like to run up to these parents and carers with a razor and shave their heads and take their hats and sunnies, so they can experience the extremes of temperatures and get a taste of their own medicine. They remember to dress themselves according to weather conditions, why are they so ignorant when considering the needs of their baby?

I think babies should be wearing a hat more often than not, especially when they leave home:

• If it’s sunny or glary; kind of obvious I thought; though observation seems to disprove this theory.

• When it's a cloudy day; usually this would mean there is likely to be a chill in the air, so at least take a hat with you.

• On a cold windy day; I am not seeing hats, perhaps there are ton of babies getting their hats blown off in gale force winds.

• Inside shopping centres; the air conditioners are cold, babies don’t walk to keep warm, and contend with wind chill on the move.

• Bedtime; unless you have a hot room or excess bedding, which could be a SIDS issue in itself, most babies will lose heat while sleeping.

Babies have a small body mass, (I state the obvious, however some people obviously need it stated), they don’t maintain an even body temperature very well. It is up to their parent’s and carer’s to ensure they are dressed appropriately indoors and outdoors. Baby’s extremities lose heat quickly, so remember to carry something to cover their feet and hands as well.

If you are a parent or carer who pops your baby in a stroller then covers it up with muslin or something similar that screens the baby from being seen by, or seeing the world at large whenever you leave home, this will not apply; however that is a whole new topic.

* Thanks to some lovely informative feedback from schmoo, I have been reminded that babies sleeping with hats on can be a contentious issue as they can over heat and it can be a SIDS risk. May I clarify that we usually sleep in a cool room with fresh air, so I do like to have a little hat that covers my baby's ears otherwise they get cold. We also have a sound and movement monitor that we check regularly and they now come with temperature monitors as well. Babies can't regulate their temperature and are apparently at risk of overheating is what the main reason seems to be. It is for that very reason that we generally do use a hat, because as a parent, I can and do moderate my baby's temperature.

schmoo has provided these links for further reading for anyone who is concerned about whether or not they should have a hat on their baby when sleeping.

Guideline NSW Health: Sudden Infant Death Syndrome (SIDS) and safe sleeping for infants (2005)
Sids And Kids - Kids Safe Sleeping
SaveOurSleep - Tizzie Hall (The International Baby Whisperer)
Nationwide Children's Hospital - SIDS Reduction
SIDS Canada - Over Heating

Great reading so you can make an informed decision to suit your needs, I would also suggest discussing it with your local maternity ward and health or community nurses if you are concerned.

Don't put your baby down to sleep or leave your baby unattended with any hats, bibs or other clothing items that has ties or cords on it. To do so puts your baby at risk of strangulation and/or suffocation.

©Luisa Foliaki – Proud Mumma of MicroMe & MissyMe