Baby - I'm Fat; I Ain't Down With That

 Photograph Courtesy of Jana Hummelshoj

Check Out The Fat Chick; Oh Heck It’s Me

Many women struggle with their excess weight after having a baby.  Some people believe that if it took nine months to put on weight, it should take the same amount of time to lose it.  However, long after that, many people are still unhappy with their size and shape. I have never had a perfect figure, however I was happy with my weight before my first pregnancy.  Right now I have a five month old baby girl and I am still lugging around an extra 10kg that I have no use for.  Four years ago I had a baby boy; I suffered this indignity for a good year longer before doing anything about it.  I said I didn’t want to go out and have fun, or exercise to lose weight because I didn’t like the way I looked... Yes, I know, how silly is that? 

I Can’t Excercise; I'm Way Too Fat

What went wrong after my first pregnancy?  I can’t speak for anyone else, yet I now realise that for me it was a safety net.  If I wasn’t successful at anything I tried to do; I could blame it on being overweight.  If someone didn’t like me, I could blame it on their dislike of people who didn’t look perfect.  If I wasn’t good enough at sports, I could blame it on the extra kilos and pain from pregnancy and birth... It was an excuse for everything that I might fail at; including my relationship with my baby’s father.  For if I was looking fit and as healthy and pretty as I could be, yet he rejected me in any way, then that would mean that it was my personality and attitude that were at fault.  In effect it would mean facing up to the fact that I was accountable for 50% of the symptoms in all my relationships and experiences. Worse still, I was 100% responsible for any ill conceived comments and actions that I made that were having a detrimental effect on them.  When I finally began to understand that and be happy with my image and weight; I fell pregnant again.

I Am Fat Again; I Can Excercise

What is different after this pregnancy?  Not much; same Dad, similar post-pregnancy pain issues and similar weight gain.  However this time I was determined to enjoy having a beautiful little baby and I couldn’t get out enough to show her off.  I also have a very fit, energetic 4 year old boy to keep up with at the same time.  I carried Lola Rose for a 7km bush walk at Kanangra Walls when she was 6 weeks old, (even though I could barely walk for days afterwards), my son walked the whole way and carried his own back pack too.  This time I actively sought assistance with my pain so that I could be seriously active sooner, rather than later.  Luckily for me, my beautiful friend Sempai Angel kept saying, “you need to come and exercise to lose the weight.”   Sensei Danny at the dojo we attend encouraged me to attend a Muay Thai Seminar and I haven’t looked back.  The next weekend I was back on the rugby field and we went indoor climbing the next day.  I couldn’t care less what I look like, I want to have fun and for me, being active is fun.  My son is my biggest supporter, everyone we associate with is extremely encouraging and many people help me with my baby so that I can train.

I'm A Bit Plump; I Should Be Unhappy

Not true at all!  For me, a healthy active lifestyle is an imperative part of being happy; luckily for my body type, excercise tends to mean that I become more asthetically pleasing as well; which is fairly logical.  That isn’t what this article is about though; what is most important is that you are as healthy and fit as you can be, so that you can enjoy your life and enjoy playing with your children.  We weren’t all born with the potential to have stick thin models bodies, however we were all born with the potential to be confident, happy people.  Tall, short, fat, thin, young, old; stop making silly excuses, be honest with yourself; decide what will make you a happy person; if it is weight loss, get on with it.  If not; love yourself the way you are and get on with enjoying life by focusing on things that are more important to you and your family's well being.  It isn't just how you look that defines you; I have found that if I feel good about myself and I am honestly happy within my skin, I shine and that light attracts exciting events and great people into my life.

How can you see if this is true for you?  Make the choice; only you are accountable for the decisions you make, the actions you take and the things you manifest into your life.

© 2010 Luisa Foliaki – Proud Mumma of MicroMe & MissyMe

Whilst I have come to this conclusion based on my own life experiences, many influences have slowly, (painfully slowly unfortunately), have started to gel to a truth that is improving my outlook on life and even importantly, my children's future. I admire these authors and perhaps they can convey a truth along the same lines that sits well with you if you read one of these books.

Further reading, (by far better authors) that influenced me:

The Four Agreements - Don Miguel Ruiz

The Mastery Of Love - Don Miguel Ruiz

The Luck Factor - Dr. Richard Wiseman

People that influenced me by attending sessions:


Rose Bendell

MaxiMe: Stephen Gore, the father of my beautiful children; we don't always see eye to eye, however we are very often right about and learn from; each other - thank you.

I have also been very lucky to have worked with, played sports with and been associated with many bright, talented, wonderful people; too many to mention, (though if you read The Luck Factor, maybe it was by my own design).  The thing that I admired most about them is that they seem to fit well within their own skin and be happy to be who they are, despite any trials and tribulations they have suffered.