I am the first to say that being a parent never entered my mind, except in a conversation once when MaxiMe said he couldn't see anything long term with me and one of the reasons he stated was that I wasn't interested in children. I thought about it for a few minutes and took a good long look at him, "yes, well if it was with you, I think I'd change my mind..." I put it out there and somewhere someone in the Universe heard it; I was blind sided and dragged into motherhood at the end of a less then enjoyable pregnancy, 'kicking and screaming' with the birth of my beloved MicroMe, (Jaydee); safe keeper of my heart.
All the love in the world for MicroMe couldn't make me enjoy being a mother; I resented this intrusion in my time and life vehemently. I threw myself into it though, determined to be the best Mumma I could be; all the while avoiding the mirror because I didn't want to see that frumpy new model of me that had replaced the fitter faster version.
Three years later we were having a similar conversation; except this way it was around the other way... I wasn't feeling remotely happy about MaxiMe's lack of commitment, so I said, "if you aren't willing to commit to me, I may have to seek a life partner elsewhere, I'd really like a daughter and Jaydee needs a sister...." My biological clock wasn't ticking any longer, the alarm bells were set to go off! Anyway, it was a throw away line at the end of a heated discussion; I should have known better.
This time was another surprise, this time I embraced it more readily, even though it looked like I was 'doomed to be a single Mum'. MicroMe was the only one in our family unit who was openly happy. Enthusiasm is infectious, so even though the pregnancy and situation were not perfect; MaxiMe and I managed to enjoy this birth a lot more. All three of us are now extremely enamoured with our little MissyMe (Lola Rose); my sweet little soul .
Late last year I was advised to try a visit to a qualified practioner of Kinesiology; the person who recommended her said, "I can't really explain what it is all about, just go and see if she can help you..." I love anything new, so I went, though at first I wasn't sure about the methods, I enjoyed the attention and care from this lovely, empathetic, caring person.
I am not sure how and sometimes I am skeptical myself, however Rose, (no coincidence that Lola is Lola Rose), managed to change my perspective, which is what I needed. Now I'm a proud Mumma, my heart is fit to burst with the pure joy that I get from waking up in the morning to give MissyMe and MicroMe a hug and kiss. I feel this bliss most accutely when they are asleep on top of me with MaxiMe sleeping soundly on the other 2/3 of the bed, unaware that we have been invaded by our miniature selves.
Nothing has changed; my life is almost the same as it was this time last year, yet for me, everything feels fresh and exciting again. The reason I am feeling so blessed and blissful is that I have finally realised the privilege that has been bestowed upon ME. I am the proud Mumma of MicroME and MissyME; I am the luckiest mother in the world! I will ensure that I embrace the future and do all I can to earn their respect so that they can be proud of ME!
While Natural Therapies may not be 'the thing' for everyone, I believe in seeking to improve myself, my life and that of my children in any way that works; this worked for us. I no longer feel ashamed to admit that my children are exceptionally well co-ordinated, healthy, strong, bright little beings and I think that my genes along with MaxiMe's and our parenting style has a lot to do with it.
While Natural Therapies may not be 'the thing' for everyone, I believe in seeking to improve myself, my life and that of my children in any way that works; this worked for us. I no longer feel ashamed to admit that my children are exceptionally well co-ordinated, healthy, strong, bright little beings and I think that my genes along with MaxiMe's and our parenting style has a lot to do with it.
0 comments:
Post a Comment